New York Etiquette Guide

Business Etiquette: Why People Don't Trust Their Bankers

 

by Jeremy Willinger 

In today’s economy, especially after witnessing the implosion of the banking industry, many feel that once-trustworthy bankers do not have the interests of the average investor at heart. Between Bernie Madoff, Lehman Brothers, Wachovia, and Goldman Sachs, there has been no shortage of newsworthy developments to inflame cynicism and create a prevailing attitude that banks not only exploited consumers’ trust, but were richly rewarded for that behavior.

How is Main Street supposed to have confidence in Wall Street after witnessing not only rapidly dwindling returns but a taxpayer-funded bailout to keep them afloat? The onus is on both lender and customer to rebuild this fractured relationship. Simply avoiding financial institutions is not an option—businesses need these companies to set up shop, expand, and hire new employees once successful. While companies that make home safes are reporting a 25 percent increase in sales, one of the bright spots in a troubled economy, the solution for individuals will never be stashing retirement funds at home—in either safes or mattresses.

Banks must now redouble their efforts to restore integrity and positive public perception. Moving beyond improved customer service for private investors, banks need to leave behind their old philosophy and change their entire way of doing business (which seems to have been making money for themselves while ripping off customers).

At its core, this is a return to unimpeachable business etiquette, where building and fostering business relations is based on integrity, best practices, and cultural and regional sensitivities. This will not be an instantaneous process—trust is a state that cannot be restored overnight.

Consumers need to understand in exactly what—and with whom—they are investing, and feel confident that they are making the right decision. Further, they need to understand that though they may have invested through a financial institution, they must be the ones who are making responsible decisions to the best of their ability. Above all, investors must remember, as so many disclaimers tell us, that past performance is no guarantee of future results.

The rules of business etiquette teach us, among other things, to offer only reliable advice that keeps our customers’ best interests as the priority. Banks of the future will have to heed this rule more than any other as they rebuild the loyalty that evaporated along with the balance of our 401Ks.

Tweet Etiquette and the Twitter Concierge

 

by Lyudmila Bloch, Etiquette Expert NYC

At the New York Book Expo this week, Joel Comm was carefully autographing his revised and updated version of Twitter Power 2.0.

A huge line of fans was forming on the crowded floor of the Javits Center. For all Twitter users this is a must-read book.  For the rest of the world, it’s a great read on how to grow your relationships, expand your social skills (on twitter and off), and how to find like-minded people with whom to share your ideas and your interests.

What I learned from Joel was that Tweet Etiquette is very much alive and well, and is evolving every day.  “Some of those etiquette rules are smart, sensible, and should always be followed” – he advised. 

Rule # 1 – Don’t spam

Joel insists that this rule can never be ignored. If you break this rule and continue spamming – you will not survive on Twitter.

Rule # 2 – Follow style

Crafting your personal message is encouraged, but don’t abbreviate it too much, or overuse acronyms: your readers must be able to readily understand it. Of course, there are always exceptions.  A fragmented message is acceptable etiquette, but don’t add your personal coding.

Rule # 3 – Retweet and give a credit to the original author

The etiquette of retweeting is simple. You can copy a tweet but add “RT” or “Retweet” with the original username. When a message is retweeted many times over, the original source may be lost in a crowd of retweeters. It’s OK to offer your own comments or opinion attached to a retweet.  That’s what is so interesting about it – you add your own opinion to a piece you didn’t write.

Rule # 4 --  Keep it brief and stick to 140 characters.

Joel explains in his book that the reason a tweet is limited to 140 characters because it’s the maximum number of characters that can go through SMS systems in a single message. If you really can’t do it – use www.twitlonger.com   You can send an unlimited message using that service.

There are plenty of valuable tips one can learn from this intriguing and insightful book about the immeasurable power of Twitter. One of the best chapters is “How to Join a Conversation” and avoid offending others while tweeting! Think of this book as a “Twitter Concierge” – you get an answer to virtually any question!

The Comfortable Groove: Etiquette Rules for Long-Term Dating

 

Art Auction Etiquette: Raise Your Paddle

 

V.Serov "The Girl with Peaches"/ Oil on canvas 

Posted by Lyudmila Bloch, Etiquette Expert NYC

Two Russian art auctions are taking place at Sotheby’s and Christie’s in New York from April 21, 2010 to April 23, 2010.  While both  auction houses are offering many unique art pieces, there are plenty of novel oil paintings of the Soviet era that will be introduced for the first time – works of art by Burliuk, Tchelitchev, Ivanoff, Roitburd, Kalmakoff, and Pochitonov.

At Christie’s, according to Artprice, look for Makovsky’s “In from a stroll” painting to cause a stir. (Konstantin Makovsky was an influential artist of the 19^thcentury from Moscow School of Painting, Sculpture, and Architecture.)  This painting is estimated to sell for about $600,000.  Some of his well-known artworks include Tamara and Demon, The Russian Bride’s Attire, and The Kissing Custom.

Auctions can be fun if you’re familiar with proper auction etiquette.  These etiquette tips will ensure that you go home with the right item.

·      Attend the preview and inspect all items of interest thoroughly. Often pieces are sold “as is, where is. That means there is no refund policy.

·       A numbered card called “paddle” identifies all participants.  You must register prior to the start of the auction by providing your picture ID and basic banking information. Once you complete the process and get your “paddle” – you’re set to go!  Simply raise your hand when submitting a bid, and raise your paddle only if you are “the winning bid.”

·      Know the terms: each auction house will publish the terms of sale in their catalog. Find out during the preview is there “buyer’s premium” added to the final bid. If you’re not sure – ask!

·      Proper auction etiquette requires a payment for your item as soon as possible. Don’t delay, inspect your item and finalize your transaction. 

Business Etiquette: Dealing with Persons with Disabilities/Part 2

 

by Jeremy Willinger 

Part 2 

When you're asked to assist a person with disabilities, make sure you do it graciously and without fuss. 

Though you may have the best of intentions, try not to offer physical assistance without asking if you may do so. People with disabilities may depend on their arms and legs for balance, and even if your goal is to guide them up stairs or across the street, for example, your input may be inadvertently putting them at risk. If a person is in a wheelchair or using a scooter or cane, that equipment should be considered part of their personal space and should be treated accordingly.

Proper etiquette also calls for the person without a disability to be aware of their surroundings. If you are sharing space with a person in a wheelchair, let them set the pace as you move about, and, if possible, do some research beforehand so you can inform restaurants and other establishments ahead of time that a ramp or other accommodations will be needed -- and know where they are located. 

Since not every disability is physical (such as a learning disability), it is important to read and understand subtle cues. Proper etiquette demands, for example, that if a person asks to have something written down or explained multiple times, you must graciously do so. Not everyone is comfortable sharing that they have a disability, and by acquiescing, you demonstrate that you have listened and that you care.

Top Business Etiquette Rules You Should Never Break

 

By Jeremy Willinger

If you are lucky enough to have a job, there are several paramount rules of business etiquette that, when followed, will go a long way toward helping you stay employed.

While it is always nice to work with attractive, personable people, the office should not be considered a dating pool. Dating a co-worker, especially one who is your superior, is as ill-advised as walking into the office drunk. Socializing is one thing, but an amorous relationship only leads to gossip and workplace conflicts.

Gossip—about fellow workers or anyone—is definitely discouraged. Proper workplace etiquette demands that any personal information, about oneself or others, be kept to oneself. Passing on confidential data, or just spreading rumors (whether overtly or by innuendo), only serves to brand the person divulging the “facts” as untrustworthy, and it could also be illegal.

With many jobs, there will be times when drinking is a part of the workplace environment (holiday parties, trade shows, workplace dinners, and the like). This is not college, and the object is not to imbibe as much free booze as your stomach can hold—know your limits and never exceed them. Remember, proper office conduct extends beyond the walls of the office as well.

Professional behavior is also important when owning up to a mistake and all of us will make them from time to time. Never lie or cover up an error! Promptly taking the blame, and making a sincere effort never to repeat that mistake, is the best way to avoid any potential problems. Conversely, if you have a great idea for the company, good workplace etiquette demands that you include your boss. By including your superior, you are showing deference and respect for their position.

 These are just a few of the more fundamental tips that will hasten upward mobility and professional success.

Dining Etiquette: 6 Basic Rules to Remember

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

by Lyudmila Bloch, Etiquette Expert NYC 

"Picture this: You're out to dinner with friends, they order everything expensive on the menu while you stick to a salad -- is it OK to ask for separate checks?

The answer is complicated. Etiquette experts actually disagree on whether it is appropriate to split a check in social situations...

While the etiquette jury is out on whether or not it’s acceptable to ask for separate checks, the experts do agree on one thing: if you are going to split it, let that be known as soon as you sit down" -- wrote Kathryn  Vasel (FoxBusiness.com) in her latest article "Dining Out Etiquette: Rules of Splitting the Check."

While I agree with Kathryn and other experts, I still would like to point out  a few rules one should follow when dining out on business or with friends: 

• Do let your waiter know  as soon as you sit down that your  need to have separate checks.
• Do order the same number of dishes as your partner, friend, or a colleague.
• Don't  ask for a  "doggy bag to go" -- it's tacky. 
• If you are picking up a bill -- pay it promptly, don't let it linger... 
• Do leave a 15%-20% tip when dining out.
• Don't  ask to share a  dessert -- even if your colleague's  plate looks better than yours.

If you are looking to get more information on this subject, please review our previous posts on  dining etiquette:

 

Fork & Knife 

 

Japanese Dining Etiquette 

 

The Art of Dining Etiquette 

 

 

 

Workplace Etiquette: Asking for a Raise in a Tough Economy

 

by Jeremy Willinger 

Asking for a raise or change of title at work is never an easy task. Sometimes people wonder if the stress of asking is worth the eventual payoff. Yet, knowing the proper way to approach your superior with this nerve-wracking request will better position you to receive the increase in salary you seek.

The number one rule in asking for a raise is to plan ahead. Much like when you were interviewed for the position you now wish to get paid more for, avoid going in without having researched and found facts. Detail and document your achievements so your boss can see the success you’ve experienced and how your work has contributed to the company’s goals and bottom line. By researching competitive salary ranges for your position, you can better judge how much to request and what others in your role are making.

The second most important tip is to consider the timing of your request. If your company has been hard hit by the financial crisis, or is on a hiring freeze, asking for more money demonstrates a lack of compassion and can ultimately harm your future prospects within the organization. Mentioning to your boss, ideally over email so nothing comes as a surprise, that you are interested in discussing your salary and role with the company, shows that you respect his or her time. Tenure at the company is also relevant to timing: asking for a raise before one year of service is inadvisable.

After a meeting is scheduled, do not share this information with anyone in the company—this also applies once you have the answer to your request. More importantly, do not schedule a vacation immediately afterwards, or call in sick, regardless of the response, as you will be under increased scrutiny by your superior. If your boss does not grant your request, consider how you can better demonstrate your commitment to your job, or plan an exit strategy that will not hurt future employment prospects. Using these tips, you stand a much better chance of receiving a few extra dollars in your paycheck, and can look forward to future steps up the corporate ladder.  

Up in the air etiquette

 

 by Jeremy Willinger

We have all seen them -- the people who barge to the front of the security line, aggressive businesspeople who run over your foot with their carry-on, and the ubiquitous armrest hog. Whereas air travel used to be a glamorous adventure, today airlines seem to have taken their inspiration from the sardine can, cramming passengers into antiquated planes and charging them $5.00 for a pillow and itchy blanket.

But even while feeling that airlines care little about their well-being, passengers can still employ a little etiquette to ensure a smoother trip for everyone. The first rule of air travel etiquette is that being nice usually goes a long way. I can recall several instances when acknowledging how busy an employee is, or speaking in a respectful, non-condescending tone, has gotten me an upgrade or at the very least a thank-you from the worker. While treating people as you would like to be treated extends to everyone, those who bear the brunt of people’s air travel frustrations may be especially in need of TLC.

When in line at security, try to take your shoes off as quickly as possible (a pair of slip-on loafers or flats is a great investment) and remove your laptop before getting to the scanner. Do you want to be the person who holds up hundreds of passengers as you fumble with a Boy Scout worthy knot on your sneakers? Laces or not, shoes should be closed-toe when flying as your feet will be safer and passengers will avoid seeing (or smelling) them.

An in-flight meal used to be a given; today you are lucky to enjoy a miniscule bag of pretzels. If you purchase food in the terminal, try to eat it before boarding. The recycled air in a pressurized cabin does not need the odor of your tuna melt from Au Bon Pain competing for nostril and lung space. It is irritating to those seated around you and, ultimately, the flight attendant is the one who is going to have to clean up any messes you make—however inadvertently.

In flight, the armrest should be considered a DMZ— fiercely guarded and respected. Whoever is in the middle seat should be granted control of the armrest, but as in elementary school, if you choose to occupy the armrest for an hour, let the other person have a turn. Consider too that it is often possible to share the armrest, one person’s arm occupying the lower half, and the other person’s arm resting on the upper portion. This may take some ongoing adjustment, but it can be mastered. If you wish to use a personal DVD player, or your plane offers seat-headrest screens, consider the company. Watching a violent or very sexy movie when there is a small child next to you would be unkind, and listening to loud music is disrespectful to fellow passengers.

An airplane cabin should generally be considered personal time - so read the vibe of your fellow passengers. If they seem open to talking or initiate a conversation, consider it on the same vibe as a networking event. Snoozers beware: your seatmate is under no obligation to wake you for beverage service. 

After landing, rushing into the aisle only serves to create a thicker bottleneck. If you have to make a tight connecting flight, inform the flight attendant and he or she can help facilitate your exit. Be aware of your bags and try not to hit anyone in the head or roll over anyone’s foot as you deplane.

Flying does not have to be an ordeal. By following the guidelines above, and maintaining patience, we can all get to our destinations a lot less worse for the wear and enjoy our time (maybe not as well as George Clooney) up in the air.

Dating Etiquette Tips: how to impress Mr. or Ms. Right