Posted on Thu, Sep 02, 2010
By Jeremy Willinger
They are universal mistakes: We press the send key too early, cc someone we should not have, or our attempts at sarcasm or humor are misread. Email, for all its benefits, can prove to be a minefield unlike any other.
Avoiding e-mail gaffes boils down to two key precautions, though they may seem at odds with the very nature of this quick and convenient form of communication. The first is to always edit and self-censor. Though people expect a quick response to e-mail requests, reviewing your messages gives you the opportunity to clarify/remove content that could be misunderstood. One tip for important e-mails is to write the response, save it as a draft, and return to the message after working on another project. The time between writing and sending may help crystallize your thoughts, avoiding duplicate e-mails and any potential e-mail pitfalls.
The second caveat is to be as detailed as possible. People will often write general e-mail messages that force the reader to guess at what they are referring to. Sending e-mails with explicit instructions reduces the need for follow-up notes asking for clarification. This streamlines the workday and saves everyone valuable time.
But what happens when the inevitable occurs? Even the most diligent e-mail maven will send a message prematurely. The best tip is to act quickly to rectify the mistake. If a message was sent too early—and you won’t be sending the corrected message immediately thereafter—send a follow-up note with “Disregard E-mail Titled <Your Subject>” in the subject line. When you eventually send the corrected version, the subject line should be “<Your Subject> (Revised)” or “<Your Subject> (Please Use This Version).” This informs the reader as to which message should be read, without any guesswork. E-mail etiquette dictates that you make amends, so the first line of the corrected e-mail should say something to the effect of, “Please see corrected e-mail below. Thank you for your patience.”
If you accidentally cc a colleague who is not part of the project, a simple second e-mail with “Disregard E-mail Titled <Your Subject>” will usually suffice. However, if you have copied a contact who should not be privy to the information in the e-mail, it must be immediately reported to your supervisor. A phone call to the contact should follow, with an explanation that they were inadvertently copied on an email and to please delete the message.
Probably the most heart-stopping e-mail blunder is when a letter is accidentally copied to someone about whom disparaging remarks have been made in the mail. This can happen when a chain of e-mails, involving several people, has been ongoing, and the ridiculed person’s address is still in the “reply all” line. In this event, certain systems feature a “recall” option, but it works only if the letter has not yet been opened by the recipient. If still in their inbox unread, it’s removed. If opened, you’re just out of luck—and have perhaps learned an important lesson.
Generally, e-mail is not the place to show off your humor or sarcasm to colleagues—unless that type of relationship already exists. Frequently, we write with a tone or quirky attitude in our head, and while we may get the joke, chances are, it will be lost on your recipients, or taken as ditziness.
Keeping these simple tips in mind will be helpful when the unavoidable occurs, and go a long way toward maintaining the cordial and professional relationships you have worked so hard to foster.
Posted on Thu, Aug 19, 2010
by Lyudmila Bloch, Business Etiquette Expert
The Japanese have a unique culture, as unique as their language, which is not spoken anywhere else in the world! Japanese culture is centered on politeness, overall respect for people, age reverence, gracious apology for wrongdoing, and living in harmony. It is so important for the Japanese to “do the right thing” that Japanese companies often offer to their employees training on how to “execute a perfect bow.” Combining a handshake and a bow is quite tricky, but it remains a common practice in the Japanese business arena.
Westerners, when eating out in Japanese restaurants, need to understand the basics of the Japanese dining etiquette and modern customs to avoid offending the Japanese by committing dining blunders!
If you don’t want to come off as a savage fool, but instead wish to be a grateful and refined guest at a Japanese establishment, be mindful of essential dining taboos and basic rules of Japanese table manners.
Upon the inception of your meal, when the food is served, join your hands in the “Namaste” gesture and say quietly, “Itadakimasu” – the phrase literally translates as “I humbly receive.” The gesture is an expression of gratitude for the collective efforts made by many in growing and preparing the meal you are about to consume. Most Japanese restaurants in New York City provide single-use (or disposable chopsticks) and a small dish for your soy sauce. High-end establishments offer fancy (polished and decorated) chopsticks to their guests.
Gently serve yourself a bit of sauce by pouring a small amount into your dish. It is considered rude to pour soy sauce directly over the white rice, or to use an excessive amount. Dip your sushi into the soy dish, and then bring it to your mouth for one or two bites. Don’t hover over your dish. When eating rice or soup, you are allowed to bring the entire bowl closer to your mouth so that you don’t spill any food. Slurping noodles, especially ramen or soba, is common but not a universal practice in Japanese dining etiquette. However, it is considered rude to burp at the table unlike in some other Asian cultures like Chinese or Korean, where it can be received as a sign of satisfaction. Similarly, nose-blowing in public is a serious offense, especially at the table.
If you wish to share your food, first you must place a morsel of food onto a small plate and then pass it to another person. Do not pass the food at the table from chopsticks to chopsticks – it’s a very offensive gesture because when a family is sifting through the ashes after the cremation, the Japanese handle the bones of the deceased in a similar fashion.
Never plant your chopsticks in a bowl of rice -- in the Japanese tradition it resembles the burning of incense sticks at a funeral. Instead, lay your chopsticks on the chopsticks holder or at the edge of your individual plate.
Westerners who eat, drink, and walk at the same time offend the Japanese. Rarely (or never) will you encounter a Japanese person gobbling down his food while riding subway or another form of public transportation. Unfortunately, in the New York Subway System this repulsive practice is commonly seen, especially among younger people who persist in this behavior without any regard for others.
At the dining table, do not pour yourself a drink but rather serve others at the table. Another thoughtful person should pour your drink for you when you are finished serving. Avoid saying “chin-chin” when toasting; instead, raise your glass and say “kanpai.” The Italian “chin-chin” toast in Japanese refers to “male genitals,” and has no relation to toasting at the dining table.
At the end of the meal, thank the chef by saying “Gochisosama deshita!” —Thank you for this great meal!
Posted on Mon, Aug 09, 2010
Photo credit: A. Nowitz
posted by Lyudmila Bloch, Business Etiquette Expert
"I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma; but perhaps there is a key…" said Winston Churchill in 1939.
And this live enigma continues to puzzle and mystify even those who once lived over there. Doing business in Russia is a huge challenge because the rules of engagement change constantly, and without warning.
So what do you need to know before you go?
Business etiquette in Russia is dictated by people with money and power, so in order to survive, one needs to have plenty of ingenuity and killer business instincts every step of the way. Resourceful Russians will bend the rules as much as they can, and exploit their opponents’ weaknesses to achieve their goal. Don’t expect a “win-win” business solution: the winner takes it all.
Knowing the Russian language is a great advantage, because understanding subtle linguistic nuances might help you detect early signs of distrust or hidden agendas revealed in conversation. Hiring your own interpreter, who can represent your interests and accurately judge a situation, is another solution. Never accept a free interpreter from your business opponent, and don’t assume that your Russian business colleagues do not speak English. Many are fluent, and graduated from prestigious Western schools but want to use a translator in order to better understand your intentions and private comments during business negotiations.
Being introduced as a trusted colleague or friend can lead to successful business ventures provided that there is plenty of financial support and you offer products and/or services they want to purchase.
Russians don’t easily yield, and expect their foreign business partners to make first moves and offers. The terms of a deal are never written in stone and may, or may not, change in one way or another overnight. So don’t give in easily, and engage in a thorough exploration before making any commitments. Being agreeable and forthcoming is likely to be perceived as weakness or naiveté.
Understanding Russian corporate hierarchy is critical because the wealthy and powerful also tend to be extremely arrogant and self-obsessed. (Most executives are men, and equal opportunity is not a subject for discussion.) They’re apt to mercilessly prejudge you based on their own set of business values, often very different from criteria commonly applied in the West.
Each successful negotiation can culminate in a dinner, an invitation to a “dacha” (a summer place), or a night out at a fancy club or yacht. Restaurants, hotels, and nightclubs are exuberantly expensive, so make sure to inquire in advance as to who, where, what, and how much! Russian businesspeople tend to be big snobs and want to be seen with the “right people” at exclusive hangouts for the elite. Their favorite expression is “veep” (VIP), a powerful or famous person who arrives with an entourage, like Naomi Campbell and her new beau, Vladislav Doronin, a leading real estate developer in Moscow. Campbell, 40, met the Russian tycoon at the Cannes Film Festival, in 2008, shortly after her outburst on a British Airways flight that led to her arrest, according to the UK’s Mail Online paper. Ms. Campbell is now residing in Moscow and trying to solve her own puzzle in connection to Charles Taylor, a former African dictator who is currently on trial for his unspeakable war crimes. Stay tuned for Business Culture in Russia Part 2.
To read more about N. Campbell's testimony during Taylor's trial, click on this link.
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23863642-naomi-campbell-to-be-asked-about-blood-diamond-at-liberian-leaders-war-crimes-trial.do
Posted on Thu, Aug 05, 2010
French Business Etiquette Part 2
by Lyudmila Bloch, International Etiquette Expert
Copyright: Getty Images/ Richard Nowitz
Galeries Lafayette, Paris
Business dining requires finesse, basic knowledge of French, and good taste in wines. Observe your French friends prior to going out with your business group; you don’t want to come across as an “ugly American.” The French like to plan everything to the smallest detail -- so don’t bring your spouse to a business dinner unless the invitation was extended to significant others. During your meal, your good table manners are essential, and will be under scrutiny throughout. Be prepared for a dining experience that could last between two and one-half to three hours. Learn to use your dining utensils in the European dining style, and keep your wrists at the edge of the table (never under). The French devote business lunches to discussing business and finalizing contracts, usually accompanied by the drinking of wine. If you want to stay sharp and alert, allow the waiter to serve you some wine -- but you don’t have to drink it. And never loosen your necktie or take your jacket off in the restaurant, even if it’s very hot. Express your gratitude in French by saying “merci” when food or dishes are brought or removed from the table. Of course, everyone understands thank you, but saying it in French shows that you’re appreciative and making an effort to be a gracious guest.
Pay attention to the quality and volume of your voice, and monitor your body language. The French often communicate softly and subtly; they don’t like loud people. The general consensus is that Americans attract negative attention when interacting with others. So remember to use your “inside voice.” Stay on the formal side, and always start with an appropriate greeting in French, such as “Bonjour, Monsieur” or “Bonjour, Madame.” When departing, wish your associates or host a “bonne soirée” or “bonne journée,” depending on the time of day, and shake hands again.
Stay tuned for more information about French Etiquette.
Fantastic views of Paris via YouTube Video:
Posted on Tue, Aug 03, 2010
Photo credit: John Lamb/Getty Images
Left: Place Vendome
Right: Sorbonne, Paris
by Lyudmila Bloch, International Etiquette Expert
French Business Etiquette: Part 1
France is home to world-famous fashion houses, a free education system, a fantastic food and wine industry, the finest jewelry, and a workplace culture very different from American’s. Understanding French values and business etiquette can dramatically improve chances of success for any newcomer.
Business manners and workplace courtesy can be confusing for Americans because of the language barrier. Of course, the majority of businesspeople speak English, and fluency in French is generally not required. But there is a clear distinction in forms of address in French, and one needs to differentiate between the two personal pronouns “tu” and “vous.” Confusing one with the other could lead to an awkward introduction and a poor first impression. Tu is the informal way to say “you,” and is used for people you know well or feel familiar with, such as children, pets, friends, and family members. The more formal vous is reserved for authority figures, business associates, one’s elders, and anyone deserving of special respect. It also serves as the plural form of “you.” Learn the difference and use it wisely. When meeting and greeting, a light handshake is common, but the French don’t maintain eye contact. A simple enchanté (pleased to meet you) is courteous enough in any business or social setting. When meeting with friends, the French give “bisous” (light kisses) on both checks.
Understanding rank and status in French business culture is a big advantage. Normally, their decision-making process is long and bureaucratic. Patience and tolerance are required every step of the way. When attending business functions after hours, do not get comfortable by sporting “casual attire.” Even in a relaxed setting, you’ll be judged unfavorably if you’re underdressed. Businesswomen need to pay extra special attention to personal grooming and fine accessories.
In France, business meetings are often long, drawn-out affairs, with a strict hierarchy observed. Business conduct is more traditional in France than in America. Therefore, be mindful of seniority and corporate structure. Unfortunately, quick and merciless judgments are made if a newcomer does not demonstrate “fine business skills” such as knowledge of business etiquette and understanding of French business culture. Being invited or accepted into a “réseau” (network) could open doors to future association and collaboration. Knowing how to socialize with your French business counterparts is a first step in the right direction.
From left: A. Devlin/Press Association; R. Duvignau/Reuters; Kamel Lahamadi.
Catherine Deneuve, left, Ségolène Royal, center; represent the French approach to aging gracefully, as does the woman on the street.
Posted on Thu, Jul 29, 2010
by Jeremy Willinger
In any environment, from school to work, you have to be your own biggest advocate. Yet, there is a difference between being a braggart and effective self-promotion.
The key is to acknowledge your role in each project to ensure you receive the accolades or simple recognition that burnishes your business reputation and makes advancement possible. Pointing out successes will highlight your ability, but it must be done in a tactful and respectful manner. Couching these accomplishments as they relate to your department, a specific marketing plan, or even company philosophy, is a helpful way to position your role—and your achievements—as integral to the organization.
In the working world, the power dynamic must also be respected and business etiquette must be followed. Acknowledging input from every hierarchical level demonstrates your capacity to go beyond selfless promotion and be a team player—something every company desires.
When your efforts are recognized, it is important to thank the person who is providing the praise and, again, highlight contributions from co-workers. Remaining deferential to superiors is also important to show that you will not let compliments inflate your ego to super-sized proportions.
While, no one wants to be seen as a braggart, everyone wants to receive a pat on the back for a job well done. In the business world, however, making sure you do so tactfully will leave the door open to future acclaim.
Posted on Tue, Jul 27, 2010
by Jeremy Willinger
As much as you may get along with and share the same opinions as your coworkers, there will inevitably be times when you do not. Yet, what makes the difference in not only how you are perceived in the office but your future working relationships as well is how you choose to deal with these conflicts. The main takeaway is to learn how not to offend others. When a coworker feels slighted, it takes time and energy to smooth things over—and there is no guarantee of a full recovery.
Acknowledging the other point of view is of primary importance because it shows that while you may have a different opinion, you are not discounting theirs. Responses such as, “I appreciate your contribution,” or “That’s a good idea; however, we may have to go in another direction,” do not diminish another person’s ideas, but still communicate the point that an alternative tract will probably be selected.
Many times, the things that can get us in trouble at work are the subtle comments or off-hand remarks that we can’t anticipate will have a negative effect on others. Certain potentially offending topics like religion, politics, and relationships should be avoided at all costs. It is also wise to pause before forwarding any cartoons or jokes, as you never know what may be an emotional trigger for a coworker.
If you do happen to read a message that gets you riled up, or if you take part in a contentious exchange, always consider the aftermath. Never send any message or make a phone call in the heat of an angry moment—it is better to take a minute to cool off and reconsider your communication. When stating your point via email, it helps to read the message aloud before sending, to ensure the tone is appropriate.
Often, a sincere apology is (with luck) all that is needed. By acknowledging that you made a mistake, or merely offering to clear the air, you extend an olive branch that demonstrates your maturity and ability to rise above conflict for the sake of a stable working environment.
Much like paying taxes, disagreements in the workplace are inevitable. What happens after a flare-up is your chance to prove to yourself and your coworkers how accommodating and professional you truly are. By keeping this in mind, you raise not only your standard of professional etiquette, but that of all those around you as well.
If you disagree with anything written above, please offer your inoffensive comments below.
Posted on Thu, Jul 22, 2010
Photo: Mary Mitchell and Letitia Baldrige, former White House social secretary for Mrs.Kennedy
by Mary Mitchell, Author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Etiquette.”
I’m far too polite to mention names yet I ask you: what is wrong with this picture?
Two party-crashers finagle their way into a State dinner at the White House. They shake the President's hand and get hugged by the Vice President, with worldwide photo documentation of this outrageous social travesty.
The White House social secretary responsible for the event loses her job. One of the crashers ends up starring in a television series.
Am I crazy, or have we devolved into a society that rewards rudeness, arrogance, and hubris?
Let's stop this madness before it becomes contagious.
Reflect if you will, on the nature of a business dinner.
Every business/social event has an agenda which is established by the host.
As members of a global marketplace, we need to remember that other cultures are far more formal than the United States, and the result of crashing a business social event could seriously decimate a person's - and thus his or her company's - credibility.
Letitia Baldrige, former White House social secretary and, not incidentally, author of the first book dedicated entirely to business etiquette among the 24 titles to her credit, weighed in on this matter.
"Going to a party uninvited always has been a negative action. It never has been acceptable. At the very least, it upsets kitchen preparations, parking arrangements, and even details such as space for hanging coats and depositing dripping umbrellas.
Crashing could not be more inconsiderate to a host. It is a negative act, because hosts likely have a particular plan for the event, an intention to move guests' attitudes in a certain direction.
The party reels off course, and it is entirely the fault of the uninvited guests. The custom of going to a party only when we have been invited is a necessary, attractive, decent way for a party to evolve."
Nonetheless, premeditated crashing continues, almost as if it were a treasure hunt.
How do we handle the dreaded uninvited guest at our dinner party? Baldrige says: "I have always gone on the attack, taking the person gently aside, so others cannot hear me say 'I don't believe you are on tonight's list. I am sure you must be on the list for another night.' I use the word 'tonight' over and over because a guest should learn what the word means.
"Eventually word gets around that so-and-so was asked to leave the party. That's how a nation's manners are going to be taught - from watching others' behavior and learning from the effects of that behavior," she continued.
What disturbs this columnist about the gate-crashers is their consummate self-absorption. Guests have a role which is equally as important as the host's to ensure the success of the occasion.
In other words, guests should "sing for their supper," the results of which frequently are repeat invitations and valuable business contacts.
Here are some guidelines:
1. Respond as soon as your invitation arrives.
2. Make sure you know what kind of party it is - holiday celebration, retirement, opening of new office, introducing new member of a company? That kind of information provides important clues as to the nature of the party and how to make the most of it.
3. Do not arrive even one minute early. Arrive no later than 30 minutes after the scheduled arrival time.
4. Dress for the occasion. If you are not sure what the dress code is, call the host and ask.
5. Avoid those drippy, messy, greasy hors d'oeuvres. They make for unpleasant handshakes, as do wet, cold hands from glasses with ice. (Carry drinks in left hand so the right hand is free to shake.)
6. Drink alcohol in extreme moderation -- possibly, not at all. (No apologies necessary for not drinking alcohol.)
7. Be genuinely interested in the other guests, introduce yourself, and make an effort to draw out loners.
8. Make sure you greet your host when you arrive and thank your host when you leave.
9. Don't monopolize hosts' time.
10. Write your host a thank-you note after the event. So few people take the time to hand write correspondence that this simple act can set you, and your organization, apart as a class act.
A party is only as good as its guests -- specifically, its invited guests -- invited guests who are savvy enough to get out of their own egos to contribute to a successful, constructive occasion.
And why, you might ask, do we bother to pay attention to these things?
I maintain that we bother because good manners create good relationships. Good relationships create good business. It's not the other way around. If only party crashers could understand this.
About Mary Mitchell:
Mary Mitchell has written several books on the subject of etiquette, including "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Etiquette" and "Class Acts." She is also the founder of executive training consultancy The Mitchell Organization with the website www.themitchell.org. The opinions expressed are her own.
http://www.themitchell.org/
About Letitia Baldrige:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letitia_Baldrige
(Editing by Belinda Goldsmith)
Posted on Mon, Jun 21, 2010
by Jeremy Willinger
It all begins with an introduction but in that moment, everything is at stake. From a networking seminar to a first date, the first five seconds of any meeting define your partner’s opinion of you as well as the balance of power in the interaction. Despite this pressure, handshakes—and, with luck, business cards—are exchanged and a new relationship begins.
As you start a conversation, the initial greeting should be brief, friendly, and incorporate open body language. Crossed arms and a disinterested expression on your face are easy ways to ensure a limited exchange. While speaking clearly and at an appropriate volume will showcase your assertiveness, extensive hand gestures or any unusual mannerisms will detract from your delivery and the other’s impression of your intelligence. Your handshake should be firm but without too much pressure—especially if you are greeting a female or an older person.
In the first several minutes of conversation, topics should reference the reason both of you are in the same place at the same time, as well as more general subjects. Only after you have established a level of comfort (which will probably not be during this initial interaction) should personal subject matter—such as marital status or religion—even be contemplated.
No matter the subject of conversation, it is imperative that each party be a good listener. Focusing on the other person demonstrates respect and enables you to anticipate follow-up questions that advance the conversation. If there is a group discussion, say, at a networking event, wait for an appropriate time to ingratiate yourself—ideally at a low point in the conversation, or when someone excuses him - or herself, leaving an opening for an introduction. As the entire dynamic of the group can be altered if someone intrudes, good timing is good etiquette.
While it is important to know how to initiate a conversation, it is also essential to know when—and how—to end one. Especially at an event where you are meeting for the first time, it is considered boorish to monopolize someone’s time. Once the connection has been made, make plans to follow up, and excuse yourself politely. Key to maintaining the connection is promptly following through after the event to launch this new relationship.
Since conversations are at the heart of all business deals, personal relationships, and career advancement, an introduction should always be weighed carefully. By choosing your words thoughtfully, and remaining focused on the other person, you greatly increase the likelihood of a simple introduction blossoming into a meaningful connection.
Posted on Tue, Jun 15, 2010
by Judith Kallos, Business E-mail Expert
E-mail is one of your business' strongest branding and marketing tools. Your e-mail communications are many times one of the first things new customers will see and use to determine if they want to do business with you. Perception is the only reality online!
Let's talk about the five most common mistakes that can lend to you not being perceived as the professional and credible business person that you are:
1. From Field Display: Your name should be type properly: John A. Doe. Not john a doe, john or JOHN A DOE. No nicknames, hobby handles, user-names. Only your formal name typed in proper case will do ñ on all your devices.
2. Subject Field: Your Subject field should contain a short and accurate description of the subject of your e-mail, again, using proper case ñ sans hype. Not all caps, not all small case and not misleading in any way. You want to be sure the recipient recognizes your e-mail as one that they are expecting.
3. Greetings and Closings: Each and every business e-mail should start with a greeting and end with a closing that reflects the proper level of formality. If you are e-mailing a new customer, the highest level of formality should be practiced until they provide an indication otherwise. In business, formalities are a sign of respect. Becoming too informal too soon may not be appreciated by your potential customer.
4. Grammar and Typos: Never rely solely on your spell check. Read your important business e-mails out loud before sending to ensure they read correctly and relay the intent and tone you desire.
5. Attachments: Refrain from sending unannounced large attachments ñ especially outside of business hours. Always ask first when would be the best time to send your attachments and let the other party know the format you will be sending in to ensure they have the same software as you do. Send an Excel file that the potential customer didn't ask for, who just so happens to not have Excel, isn't productive -- or impressive.
These are five issues you need to minimally take into consideration with each and every single business e-mail correspondence that you send. By making these miniscule efforts, you will easily outshine those competitors who underestimate the importance of business e-mail etiquette basics.
About the Author:
Judith Kallos is an experienced good-humored Technology Muse who has offered WordPress Consulting and Web Site services for over a decade. Be sure to check out her popular Business Email Etiquette Web Site! too.