New York Etiquette Guide

How to Tackle Business Etiquette Challenges in France

 

Photo credit: John Lamb/Getty Images

Left: Place Vendome

Right: Sorbonne, Paris

by Lyudmila Bloch, International Etiquette Expert

French Business Etiquette: Part 1

France is home to world-famous fashion houses, a free education system, a fantastic food and wine industry, the finest  jewelry, and a workplace culture very different from American’s. Understanding French values and business etiquette can dramatically improve chances of success for any newcomer.

Business manners and workplace courtesy can be confusing for Americans because of the language barrier.  Of course, the majority of businesspeople speak English, and fluency in French is generally not required. But there is a clear distinction in forms of address in French, and one needs to differentiate between the two personal pronouns “tu” and “vous.”  Confusing one with the other could lead to an awkward introduction and a poor first impression. Tu is the informal way to say “you,” and is used for people you know well or feel familiar with, such as children, pets, friends, and family members. The more formal vous is reserved for authority figures, business associates, one’s elders, and anyone deserving of special respect. It also serves as the plural form of “you.” Learn the difference and use it wisely.  When meeting and greeting, a light handshake is common, but the French don’t maintain eye contact.  A simple enchanté (pleased to meet you) is courteous enough in any business or social setting. When meeting with friends, the French give “bisous” (light kisses) on both checks.

Understanding rank and status in French business culture is a big advantage. Normally, their decision-making process is long and bureaucratic. Patience and tolerance are required every step of the way. When attending business functions after hours, do not get comfortable by sporting “casual attire.”   Even in a relaxed setting, you’ll be judged unfavorably if you’re underdressed.  Businesswomen need to pay extra special attention to personal grooming and fine accessories. 

In France, business meetings are often long, drawn-out affairs, with a strict hierarchy observed.  Business conduct is more traditional in France than in America. Therefore, be mindful of seniority and corporate structure. Unfortunately, quick and merciless judgments are made if a newcomer does not demonstrate “fine business skills” such as knowledge of business etiquette and understanding of French business culture. Being invited or accepted into a “réseau” (network) could open doors to future association and collaboration.  Knowing how to socialize with your French business counterparts is a first step in the right direction.

Top Five Crucial Mistakes Leaders Make

 

by Dan Rockwell,

Author of Leadership Freak and Our Guest Blogger

Let’s begin by acknowledging the positive value of making mistakes. Mistakes indicate you are trying new things. Einstein put it this way, “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”

Furthermore, realizing our mistakes enlightens us. James Joyce explained, “A man's errors are his portals of discovery.” Most importantly, our mistakes make us. While successes reiterate who we are, mistakes create and recreate us. My own life illustrates the formative power of a single crucial mistake. Before sharing my personal big blunder, here are the top mistakes I think leaders make.

Clinging to the command and control model of leadership is catastrophic when knowledge workers are involved. Knowledge workers frequently know more than the boss. Command and control leaders frustrate and de-motivate. However, setting knowledge workers free leverages their skills, enhances their effectiveness and allows companies to exceed the reach of management.

Losing the big picture in the details slows forward momentum, lowers productivity, creates unnecessary stress, and under-utilizes talented staff. Leaders reach higher and go further when they delegate rather than dive into details.

Neglecting the big Mo creates flat individuals and organizations. Untended organizations naturally cool down and become problem centric structures with negative attitudes. Leaders may forget the power of celebrating small wins to create and nurture momentum.  

Being free with correction and stingy with affirmation creates negative work environments. Leaders naturally work toward higher effectiveness and efficiency. They easily become correctors. Ken Blanchard’s experience indicates that it takes four positive comments to balance one negative comment. Think of it. You need four affirmations to get back to a positive work environment after only one negative comment.

"The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." Michelangelo

My biggest mistake of all. The single most crucial mistake I ever made is focusing on mission to the exclusion of vision. Mission expresses your purpose in the present. For example, “To serve and protect,” explains the mission of law enforcement. Their mission does not create a new future -- it preserves the present. 

“It’s a terrible thing to see and have no vision.” Helen Keller

Personnel issues, pressing problems, meetings, budgets, and other pressing urgencies capture a leader’s attention and limit focus to the present or, at best, near future.  However, vision requires letting go of the present while pressing into a preferred, yet distant future. Vision is about not yet, not here, and not now. It’s about becoming.

I lived much of my life focusing on exceptional performance in the present while neglecting a forward-facing, future-making vision. I did this because I believed a lie. I believed that doing my best in the present would create the future I desired. Like all good lies, the lie I believed is partially true. 

It’s true that excellence in the present (mission) is essential for success. However, excellence in the present isn’t the same as reaching toward an unrealized dream. For that you need vision. 

It took years for me to see the mistake of living a mission driven rather than a vision-driven life. I’m glad to say that Joyce is right. My mistake became the portal of discovery.

Vision energizes leaders and enables endurance. Vision gives direction and infuses the present with meaning. 

                                                 ***

Dan Rockwell is the author of Leadership Freak a personal development blog designed to help leaders reach higher in 300 words or less.

To read our previous post by Jeremy Willinger on importance of leadership, please click on this link: http://www.etiquetteoutreach.com/blog_new-york-etiquette-guide/bid/44961/Leading-Not-Following-The-Importance-of-Effective-Leadership 

Top Five Crucial Business E-mail Mistakes

 

Leading Not Following: The Importance of Effective Leadership

 

by Jeremy Willinger 

Everyone wants to be the general but nobody wants to be the soldier. Yet, while leadership is an admirable quality, how many times have we heard the adage that absolute power corrupts absolutely? Despite the countless politicians and other officials who wind up abusing their authority, leadership, when exercised properly, is an invaluable quality that can lead to great personal and professional success.

Key to effective leadership is a combination of honesty and faith—to be truthful in the advice and direction given to charges, with trust in their ability to get the job done correctly. Effective leadership and the proper executive etiquette thereof, is also about knowing when to intervene and when to back off. In many ways, leadership training is like parenting in that you have to allow people to grow independently while also knowing when and how to guide them toward favorable outcomes.

The importance of leadership cannot be overstated. In business, direction and dynamic momentum sustain and grow market value, while stimulating innovation. Personally, it facilitates thoughtful and beneficial decisions that put wind in our sails as we navigate the waters of life. 

Even if you are not in a leadership position, there are always opportunities to display management qualities. Proper leadership etiquette dictates that one defer to the judgment of his or her superior; at the same time, initiative defines one as a conscientious worker who is confident enough to vocalize ideas. Regardless of whether your newly proposed project is actualized, your creative initiative can brand you as a future leader, comfortable in your ability to think beyond what is already on the table. 

While leadership is an admirable trait, it is useless without supporters and loyal workers. All leaders had to learn from others before them, so listening is as important as directing at all stages of one’s lifetime. Knowing this will make the difference between being a leader who is respected and a leader wannabe, who is easily replaced.

Tweet Etiquette and the Twitter Concierge

 

by Lyudmila Bloch, Etiquette Expert NYC

At the New York Book Expo this week, Joel Comm was carefully autographing his revised and updated version of Twitter Power 2.0.

A huge line of fans was forming on the crowded floor of the Javits Center. For all Twitter users this is a must-read book.  For the rest of the world, it’s a great read on how to grow your relationships, expand your social skills (on twitter and off), and how to find like-minded people with whom to share your ideas and your interests.

What I learned from Joel was that Tweet Etiquette is very much alive and well, and is evolving every day.  “Some of those etiquette rules are smart, sensible, and should always be followed” – he advised. 

Rule # 1 – Don’t spam

Joel insists that this rule can never be ignored. If you break this rule and continue spamming – you will not survive on Twitter.

Rule # 2 – Follow style

Crafting your personal message is encouraged, but don’t abbreviate it too much, or overuse acronyms: your readers must be able to readily understand it. Of course, there are always exceptions.  A fragmented message is acceptable etiquette, but don’t add your personal coding.

Rule # 3 – Retweet and give a credit to the original author

The etiquette of retweeting is simple. You can copy a tweet but add “RT” or “Retweet” with the original username. When a message is retweeted many times over, the original source may be lost in a crowd of retweeters. It’s OK to offer your own comments or opinion attached to a retweet.  That’s what is so interesting about it – you add your own opinion to a piece you didn’t write.

Rule # 4 --  Keep it brief and stick to 140 characters.

Joel explains in his book that the reason a tweet is limited to 140 characters because it’s the maximum number of characters that can go through SMS systems in a single message. If you really can’t do it – use www.twitlonger.com   You can send an unlimited message using that service.

There are plenty of valuable tips one can learn from this intriguing and insightful book about the immeasurable power of Twitter. One of the best chapters is “How to Join a Conversation” and avoid offending others while tweeting! Think of this book as a “Twitter Concierge” – you get an answer to virtually any question!

Etiquette of Asking for a Reference Letter

 

 

Whether applying for a job or acceptance by a school, a candidate is only as good as the references he or she can provide. Regardless of the interview, résumé, grades, or test scores, a bad or indifferent reference letter has the potential to sink the sought-after advancement.

When asking for a reference letter, it is important to follow certain specific rules of etiquette that will help both the letter writer and his or her subject to shine in the best possible light. Of primary importance is asking the right people — business etiquette and common sense dictate that a reference should come only from someone who can accurately rate the work and personal characteristics of the person requesting the letter. Hence, supervisors, professors, and others in managerial roles should be asked, rather than co-workers, family friends, or romantic interests. 

The request itself must also follow proper business etiquette. Instead of asking, "Could you write a letter of reference for me?" a better question would be, "Do you feel you know my work well enough to write me a good recommendation letter?" This allows the potential reference an out if they do not feel comfortable at the prospect of doing so, while also suggesting the right context for the letter if they say yes.

Even after consent is gained, the onus is still on the person who requests the letter. Following the rules of etiquette, a résumé, samples of previous work, and all materials should be provided promptly to the letter writer. This way, they have all of the necessary information to construct a proper letter of recommendation.

After submission of the letter of recommendation to a school or company, proper etiquette calls for the sending of a brief note (email in this instance is OK), letting the letter writer know that this has been done, and that they may receive a call to discuss the content. A brief description of the job or program that the letter was submitted to is also helpful. Finally, always make sure to thank the letter writer again in the notice. 

By following these rules for requesting letters of recommendation, a candidate can feel confident knowing that their references will be both effusive in praise and honest in assessment.

Reply all: how to navigate your business email etiquette

 

By Jeremy Willinger

Email is, for better or worse, a necessary tool for conducting business in today’s economy. Yet how many times have we received messages with misspelled words, terse replies, or no response at all to an important issue? Perhaps even more disastrous are the same flaws when they mar our email communications in business. Though email has supplanted all other modes of correspondence, we treat it as a second-rate form of communication.

This is a mistake that has long needed correction. Knowing that the rules of business culture extends to email in many different scenarios can ease your climb up the corporate ladder, or, in this economy, at least help to ensure continual employment.

While business etiquette conveys respect, a positive attitude, and a willingness to serve others, business email etiquette bypasses face-to-face interaction but still presents an opportunity to showcase the talent, eloquence, and skill that helped you land a job in the first place.

Using proper grammar and punctuation is a fundamental way to broadcast professionalism and intelligence. Email also calls for a proper form of address to all parties, with the right tone, concise clarity, and an appropriate sign-off at its conclusion. Thinking about the negative impressions sparked by a poorly written email should make us very deliberate in what we choose to send to our associates. This caveat applies equally to the many channels through which we access our email: from work, home, and on the road. Therefore, keeping emails as clear and courteous as possible is a responsibility each of us bears.

Mindful emailing also safeguards against potential problems. Companies frequently monitor email communication, and any email can automatically be retrieved long after it has been deleted or forgotten in your inbox. Emails are also admissible evidence in trials and terminations; they also serve as a digital footprint in all that we do. In other words, there is no such thing as a private or truly confidential email.

Proper email etiquette not only demands constant awareness of what we type, but how our words could be misconstrued. There is no extenuating circumstance or moment of madness that justifies expressing yourself sarcastically, or with quixotic “cuteness!” The best way to communicate digitally at work is to be direct and accommodating. The contemporary adage about not saying anything via email that you would not say in person certainly applies.

Email, while appropriate for scheduling meetings and marketing promotions and other nuts-and-bolts applications, should never replace a written note for personal expressions of thanks or condolence, or for formal announcements of births, weddings, and party invitations. It goes almost without saying that handwritten notes should be reciprocated in kind. And as with handwritten exchanges, there are rules of business email etiquette for turnaround times. With our ubiquitous access to email, we should respond to emails within 24-48 hours of receiving a message. Failure to respond promptly brands you as rude or disorganized.

Correct business etiquette demands that we acknowledge emails in a thoughtfully clear and concise manner by understanding the content and recognizing the tone of our writing - prior to sending. Only then will our business email be the productive and useful tool it was intended to be.

Why Teach Business Etiquette to New Hires?

 

by Jeremy Willinger

You wrote a good cover letter, aced the interview, accepted their offer, and are excited about your new job. Yet, before any new hire moves into their first cubicle or corner office, it is imperative that they know the unique set of business-etiquette guidelines that will ease their transition into a new company and put them on the path to success.

In the first ninety days on the job, a new hire must delve deep into the company culture and recognize their rank and status within the organizational hierarchy without committing major business blunders. This is the time when a new team member will be under great scrutiny, so use it to your advantage by defining your reputation as a competent, business-etiquette savvy, hard-working, and easy-going individual.

This examination can, and probably will feel like you’re in a pressure cooker, but there are guidelines that any new hire can follow to earn the respect and solidarity of their co-workers. Strive for balance: show off your hard skills but avoid outsmarting your boss. If you develop a friendly relationship with colleagues, be sure your personal life does not intrude. Convey written messages in the most straightforward fashion but use humor appropriately -- jokes are a minefield better left to professional comedians.

Balance is important in the office but even more so outside of it. Business dinners, offsite meetings, tradeshows, and other trips call for their own set of workplace rules of new-hire business etiquette. The two keywords are appropriate and discreet. At a client dinner, for instance, this translates into asking the client or sommelier for a wine recommendation rather than selecting the beverage without any input.

Chances are, as the above example suggests, alcohol may be served. While one might be tempted to drink as much as possible on the company dime, new hires (especially) cannot afford a slip of the tongue, or to have their work suffer the following day. Therefore, moderation is key.

Moderation should not be practiced, however, when deferring to formality. New hires should know that business etiquette means addressing and referring to people by their title, which shows both professionalism and compliance. A new hire must also be aware that asking questions is encouraged, but must be done in a way that frames the inquiry with respect. Business etiquette is not only about pleasing your new colleagues, but also about helping you establish a platform from which to make your job a positive and rewarding experience.

While getting your foot in the door at a new company is the first step, knowing the rules of business etiquette goes a long way in helping ensure that the doorwill always remain open. 

PS.  If you feel completely lost and overwhelmed during your first few weeks on the job, find a local provider who offers business-etiquette training, business-etiquette seminars, and business communications courses for young professionals. A private Business Etiquette Coach is available 24/7 through Etiquetteoutreach.com (Business EtiquetteExpert NYC).