Posted on Wed, May 12, 2010
by Jeremy Willinger
Whether applying for a job or acceptance by a school, a candidate is only as good as the references he or she can provide. Regardless of the interview, résumé, grades, or test scores, a bad or indifferent reference letter has the potential to sink the sought-after advancement.
When asking for a reference letter, it is important to follow certain specific rules of etiquette that will help both the letter writer and his or her subject to shine in the best possible light. Of primary importance is asking the right people — business etiquette and common sense dictate that a reference should come only from someone who can accurately rate the work and personal characteristics of the person requesting the letter. Hence, supervisors, professors, and others in managerial roles should be asked, rather than co-workers, family friends, or romantic interests.
The request itself must also follow proper business etiquette. Instead of asking, "Could you write a letter of reference for me?" a better question would be, "Do you feel you know my work well enough to write me a good recommendation letter?" This allows the potential reference an out if they do not feel comfortable at the prospect of doing so, while also suggesting the right context for the letter if they say yes.
Even after consent is gained, the onus is still on the person who requests the letter. Following the rules of etiquette, a résumé, samples of previous work, and all materials should be provided promptly to the letter writer. This way, they have all of the necessary information to construct a proper letter of recommendation.
After submission of the letter of recommendation to a school or company, proper etiquette calls for the sending of a brief note (email in this instance is OK), letting the letter writer know that this has been done, and that they may receive a call to discuss the content. A brief description of the job or program that the letter was submitted to is also helpful. Finally, always make sure to thank the letter writer again in the notice.
By following these rules for requesting letters of recommendation, a candidate can feel confident knowing that their references will be both effusive in praise and honest in assessment.