Posted on Thu, Sep 02, 2010
By Jeremy Willinger
They are universal mistakes: We press the send key too early, cc someone we should not have, or our attempts at sarcasm or humor are misread. Email, for all its benefits, can prove to be a minefield unlike any other.
Avoiding e-mail gaffes boils down to two key precautions, though they may seem at odds with the very nature of this quick and convenient form of communication. The first is to always edit and self-censor. Though people expect a quick response to e-mail requests, reviewing your messages gives you the opportunity to clarify/remove content that could be misunderstood. One tip for important e-mails is to write the response, save it as a draft, and return to the message after working on another project. The time between writing and sending may help crystallize your thoughts, avoiding duplicate e-mails and any potential e-mail pitfalls.
The second caveat is to be as detailed as possible. People will often write general e-mail messages that force the reader to guess at what they are referring to. Sending e-mails with explicit instructions reduces the need for follow-up notes asking for clarification. This streamlines the workday and saves everyone valuable time.
But what happens when the inevitable occurs? Even the most diligent e-mail maven will send a message prematurely. The best tip is to act quickly to rectify the mistake. If a message was sent too early—and you won’t be sending the corrected message immediately thereafter—send a follow-up note with “Disregard E-mail Titled <Your Subject>” in the subject line. When you eventually send the corrected version, the subject line should be “<Your Subject> (Revised)” or “<Your Subject> (Please Use This Version).” This informs the reader as to which message should be read, without any guesswork. E-mail etiquette dictates that you make amends, so the first line of the corrected e-mail should say something to the effect of, “Please see corrected e-mail below. Thank you for your patience.”
If you accidentally cc a colleague who is not part of the project, a simple second e-mail with “Disregard E-mail Titled <Your Subject>” will usually suffice. However, if you have copied a contact who should not be privy to the information in the e-mail, it must be immediately reported to your supervisor. A phone call to the contact should follow, with an explanation that they were inadvertently copied on an email and to please delete the message.
Probably the most heart-stopping e-mail blunder is when a letter is accidentally copied to someone about whom disparaging remarks have been made in the mail. This can happen when a chain of e-mails, involving several people, has been ongoing, and the ridiculed person’s address is still in the “reply all” line. In this event, certain systems feature a “recall” option, but it works only if the letter has not yet been opened by the recipient. If still in their inbox unread, it’s removed. If opened, you’re just out of luck—and have perhaps learned an important lesson.
Generally, e-mail is not the place to show off your humor or sarcasm to colleagues—unless that type of relationship already exists. Frequently, we write with a tone or quirky attitude in our head, and while we may get the joke, chances are, it will be lost on your recipients, or taken as ditziness.
Keeping these simple tips in mind will be helpful when the unavoidable occurs, and go a long way toward maintaining the cordial and professional relationships you have worked so hard to foster.
Posted on Thu, Aug 26, 2010
by Lyudmila Bloch, Business Etiquette Expert
Business seminars of all kinds are a huge business. Whether it’s a time-management workshop, or business etiquette seminar for bankers – small and big companies alike are looking for experts in just about every field: team building, creative problem-solving, body language, business dining etiquette, customer service, corporate protocol, workplace etiquette, leadership skills, communication skills, email etiquette, etc.
Every year, thousands of corporate executives, bankers, pharmaceutical reps, lawyers, entrepreneurs, and sales executives reach out to business coaches, trainers, presenters, and speakers in order to be enlightened, motivated, and coached on how to become a superstar in their respective fields. Having gone through dramatic downsizing over the past two years, many companies are not looking to hire new employees – they are looking to energize and develop their current workforce.
Do you have what it takes to be a seminar pro in your field?
Obviously, this is not an appropriate field for shy or boring people. If you plan to present your own programs, you must be able to demonstrate not only in-depth subject-knowledge backed by meticulous planning, but also be something of a modern-day psychic who can determine what type of presentation would work best for your client.
One of the key components of the successful business seminar (Rule #1) is to keep your audience engaged and entertained with a great anecdote or humorous story. This doesn’t mean that you need to be a professional comic or Toastmaster but you do need to have a great deal of energy, enthusiasm, and passion for your subject.
Rule #2--You need to create a visually pleasing product. For example, if you are presenting your content in PP, use your slides as a guiding tool rather than a content-source. Tell a compelling story and use plenty of real-life examples so that your audience can relate to what you are telling them.
Rule #3--Plan ahead, check your “must do” list and have a Plan B on the ready if everything else fails. For example, if you have an unexpected technical malfunction and can’t see your slides, make sure that you have your 3x5 cards to help you deliver your ideas with confidence.
Rule #4--Prior to your big presentation--practice, practice, practice! Invite your colleague, friend, or your spouse to sit through your simulated business workshop and videotape, if possible. The video will point out your weaknesses and provide timely feedback.
Rule #5–Study and use your favorite celebrity presenters (for example, Anthony Robbins, Tonya Reiman, etc.), as models. Try to incorporate some of their techniques into your own routine--body language, gestures, and stories. After all said and done, have a great time!
Posted on Thu, Aug 05, 2010
French Business Etiquette Part 2
by Lyudmila Bloch, International Etiquette Expert
Copyright: Getty Images/ Richard Nowitz
Galeries Lafayette, Paris
Business dining requires finesse, basic knowledge of French, and good taste in wines. Observe your French friends prior to going out with your business group; you don’t want to come across as an “ugly American.” The French like to plan everything to the smallest detail -- so don’t bring your spouse to a business dinner unless the invitation was extended to significant others. During your meal, your good table manners are essential, and will be under scrutiny throughout. Be prepared for a dining experience that could last between two and one-half to three hours. Learn to use your dining utensils in the European dining style, and keep your wrists at the edge of the table (never under). The French devote business lunches to discussing business and finalizing contracts, usually accompanied by the drinking of wine. If you want to stay sharp and alert, allow the waiter to serve you some wine -- but you don’t have to drink it. And never loosen your necktie or take your jacket off in the restaurant, even if it’s very hot. Express your gratitude in French by saying “merci” when food or dishes are brought or removed from the table. Of course, everyone understands thank you, but saying it in French shows that you’re appreciative and making an effort to be a gracious guest.
Pay attention to the quality and volume of your voice, and monitor your body language. The French often communicate softly and subtly; they don’t like loud people. The general consensus is that Americans attract negative attention when interacting with others. So remember to use your “inside voice.” Stay on the formal side, and always start with an appropriate greeting in French, such as “Bonjour, Monsieur” or “Bonjour, Madame.” When departing, wish your associates or host a “bonne soirée” or “bonne journée,” depending on the time of day, and shake hands again.
Stay tuned for more information about French Etiquette.
Fantastic views of Paris via YouTube Video:
Posted on Wed, Jul 14, 2010
by Dan Rockwell,
Author of Leadership Freak and Our Guest Blogger
Let’s begin by acknowledging the positive value of making mistakes. Mistakes indicate you are trying new things. Einstein put it this way, “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
Furthermore, realizing our mistakes enlightens us. James Joyce explained, “A man's errors are his portals of discovery.” Most importantly, our mistakes make us. While successes reiterate who we are, mistakes create and recreate us. My own life illustrates the formative power of a single crucial mistake. Before sharing my personal big blunder, here are the top mistakes I think leaders make.
Clinging to the command and control model of leadership is catastrophic when knowledge workers are involved. Knowledge workers frequently know more than the boss. Command and control leaders frustrate and de-motivate. However, setting knowledge workers free leverages their skills, enhances their effectiveness and allows companies to exceed the reach of management.
Losing the big picture in the details slows forward momentum, lowers productivity, creates unnecessary stress, and under-utilizes talented staff. Leaders reach higher and go further when they delegate rather than dive into details.
Neglecting the big Mo creates flat individuals and organizations. Untended organizations naturally cool down and become problem centric structures with negative attitudes. Leaders may forget the power of celebrating small wins to create and nurture momentum.
Being free with correction and stingy with affirmation creates negative work environments. Leaders naturally work toward higher effectiveness and efficiency. They easily become correctors. Ken Blanchard’s experience indicates that it takes four positive comments to balance one negative comment. Think of it. You need four affirmations to get back to a positive work environment after only one negative comment.
"The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." Michelangelo
My biggest mistake of all. The single most crucial mistake I ever made is focusing on mission to the exclusion of vision. Mission expresses your purpose in the present. For example, “To serve and protect,” explains the mission of law enforcement. Their mission does not create a new future -- it preserves the present.
“It’s a terrible thing to see and have no vision.” Helen Keller
Personnel issues, pressing problems, meetings, budgets, and other pressing urgencies capture a leader’s attention and limit focus to the present or, at best, near future. However, vision requires letting go of the present while pressing into a preferred, yet distant future. Vision is about not yet, not here, and not now. It’s about becoming.
I lived much of my life focusing on exceptional performance in the present while neglecting a forward-facing, future-making vision. I did this because I believed a lie. I believed that doing my best in the present would create the future I desired. Like all good lies, the lie I believed is partially true.
It’s true that excellence in the present (mission) is essential for success. However, excellence in the present isn’t the same as reaching toward an unrealized dream. For that you need vision.
It took years for me to see the mistake of living a mission driven rather than a vision-driven life. I’m glad to say that Joyce is right. My mistake became the portal of discovery.
Vision energizes leaders and enables endurance. Vision gives direction and infuses the present with meaning.
***
Dan Rockwell is the author of Leadership Freak a personal development blog designed to help leaders reach higher in 300 words or less.
To read our previous post by Jeremy Willinger on importance of leadership, please click on this link: http://www.etiquetteoutreach.com/blog_new-york-etiquette-guide/bid/44961/Leading-Not-Following-The-Importance-of-Effective-Leadership
Posted on Thu, Jul 08, 2010
by Jeremy Willinger
Having already covered, this post will offer ideas on what to do midway through, and at the end of, a new interaction.
In any exchange, there exists the potential for a disagreement. Conversational pitfalls go beyond talking about religion or making a disparaging remark about someone else’s looks, and oftentimes it is the more subtle slights or unbeknownst-to-you offenses that people most remember.
When speaking with another person, whether a recent introduction or an old friend, the rules of etiquette remain. While avoiding conversational challenges—like bragging, monopolizing time, or being aggressive in body language or a line of questioning—is key to successful interactions, focusing your attention on the other person and offering measured, thoughtful responses is the most important aspect of any discussion.
These responses advance a conversation to the next level of familiarity and cement positive impressions—especially relevant to networking events. Recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, such as knowing you are too talkative will help you avoid any potentially harmful or awkward situations. If you are not knowledgeable about certain topics but those topics are introduced, it is a good opportunity to demonstrate your listening and social skills. Asking questions will make the other person feel important, and you can always say, “I don’t know much about that topic. However, if it is as interesting as you describe, I would be open to learning more.”
By avoiding general questions, you help drill down to specific tips and information that will be useful in following up or finding new recommendations. Instead of asking, “Do you like to eat out?” you can refine that to, “I am always looking for a new place to get sushi. Have you been to a good sushi bar recently that you can recommend?”
Being conscious of how you are asking questions is also of primary importance. Asking questions—if you are being genuine—is good, but asking without caring about the response is not only poor etiquette but might very well be broadcast in your body language and tone of voice.
Inevitably, in the normal course of conversation, you will come across a topic or opinion that you disagree with. The key to expressing your point of view is not to minimize the other person’s outlook. Acknowledging their opinion as valid—provided it isn’t offensive—should be the first line in your response. “That is an interesting take, but my experience is a bit different,” or “I respectfully disagree, though I do understand where you are coming from” are two ways to deflect their remarks while remaining polite.
At the end of a conversation, it is always important to wrap things up on a friendly note and articulate the next step. At a networking event, saying, “I enjoyed speaking with you and look forward to following up,” is a good example. However, you should never feel guilty about making a quick exit from a pushy individual or negative complainer. A simple “Thank you for your time,” will suffice here.
Along with the simple joy of human connection, conversations offer, at their core, opportunities to court personal success and gain new knowledge. Approaching them with this mindset will help to ensure that each dialogue is maximized to thoroughly benefit each party. To read more about conversation, go to the blog "How to Initiate a Conversation?" Part 1
Posted on Tue, Jun 29, 2010
by Jeremy Willinger
In today’s economy, especially after witnessing the implosion of the banking industry, many feel that once-trustworthy bankers do not have the interests of the average investor at heart. Between Bernie Madoff, Lehman Brothers, Wachovia, and Goldman Sachs, there has been no shortage of newsworthy developments to inflame cynicism and create a prevailing attitude that banks not only exploited consumers’ trust, but were richly rewarded for that behavior.
How is Main Street supposed to have confidence in Wall Street after witnessing not only rapidly dwindling returns but a taxpayer-funded bailout to keep them afloat? The onus is on both lender and customer to rebuild this fractured relationship. Simply avoiding financial institutions is not an option—businesses need these companies to set up shop, expand, and hire new employees once successful. While companies that make home safes are reporting a 25 percent increase in sales, one of the bright spots in a troubled economy, the solution for individuals will never be stashing retirement funds at home—in either safes or mattresses.
Banks must now redouble their efforts to restore integrity and positive public perception. Moving beyond improved customer service for private investors, banks need to leave behind their old philosophy and change their entire way of doing business (which seems to have been making money for themselves while ripping off customers).
At its core, this is a return to unimpeachable business etiquette, where building and fostering business relations is based on integrity, best practices, and cultural and regional sensitivities. This will not be an instantaneous process—trust is a state that cannot be restored overnight.
Consumers need to understand in exactly what—and with whom—they are investing, and feel confident that they are making the right decision. Further, they need to understand that though they may have invested through a financial institution, they must be the ones who are making responsible decisions to the best of their ability. Above all, investors must remember, as so many disclaimers tell us, that past performance is no guarantee of future results.
The rules of business etiquette teach us, among other things, to offer only reliable advice that keeps our customers’ best interests as the priority. Banks of the future will have to heed this rule more than any other as they rebuild the loyalty that evaporated along with the balance of our 401Ks.
Posted on Mon, Jun 21, 2010
by Jeremy Willinger
It all begins with an introduction but in that moment, everything is at stake. From a networking seminar to a first date, the first five seconds of any meeting define your partner’s opinion of you as well as the balance of power in the interaction. Despite this pressure, handshakes—and, with luck, business cards—are exchanged and a new relationship begins.
As you start a conversation, the initial greeting should be brief, friendly, and incorporate open body language. Crossed arms and a disinterested expression on your face are easy ways to ensure a limited exchange. While speaking clearly and at an appropriate volume will showcase your assertiveness, extensive hand gestures or any unusual mannerisms will detract from your delivery and the other’s impression of your intelligence. Your handshake should be firm but without too much pressure—especially if you are greeting a female or an older person.
In the first several minutes of conversation, topics should reference the reason both of you are in the same place at the same time, as well as more general subjects. Only after you have established a level of comfort (which will probably not be during this initial interaction) should personal subject matter—such as marital status or religion—even be contemplated.
No matter the subject of conversation, it is imperative that each party be a good listener. Focusing on the other person demonstrates respect and enables you to anticipate follow-up questions that advance the conversation. If there is a group discussion, say, at a networking event, wait for an appropriate time to ingratiate yourself—ideally at a low point in the conversation, or when someone excuses him - or herself, leaving an opening for an introduction. As the entire dynamic of the group can be altered if someone intrudes, good timing is good etiquette.
While it is important to know how to initiate a conversation, it is also essential to know when—and how—to end one. Especially at an event where you are meeting for the first time, it is considered boorish to monopolize someone’s time. Once the connection has been made, make plans to follow up, and excuse yourself politely. Key to maintaining the connection is promptly following through after the event to launch this new relationship.
Since conversations are at the heart of all business deals, personal relationships, and career advancement, an introduction should always be weighed carefully. By choosing your words thoughtfully, and remaining focused on the other person, you greatly increase the likelihood of a simple introduction blossoming into a meaningful connection.
Posted on Tue, Jun 15, 2010
by Judith Kallos, Business E-mail Expert
E-mail is one of your business' strongest branding and marketing tools. Your e-mail communications are many times one of the first things new customers will see and use to determine if they want to do business with you. Perception is the only reality online!
Let's talk about the five most common mistakes that can lend to you not being perceived as the professional and credible business person that you are:
1. From Field Display: Your name should be type properly: John A. Doe. Not john a doe, john or JOHN A DOE. No nicknames, hobby handles, user-names. Only your formal name typed in proper case will do ñ on all your devices.
2. Subject Field: Your Subject field should contain a short and accurate description of the subject of your e-mail, again, using proper case ñ sans hype. Not all caps, not all small case and not misleading in any way. You want to be sure the recipient recognizes your e-mail as one that they are expecting.
3. Greetings and Closings: Each and every business e-mail should start with a greeting and end with a closing that reflects the proper level of formality. If you are e-mailing a new customer, the highest level of formality should be practiced until they provide an indication otherwise. In business, formalities are a sign of respect. Becoming too informal too soon may not be appreciated by your potential customer.
4. Grammar and Typos: Never rely solely on your spell check. Read your important business e-mails out loud before sending to ensure they read correctly and relay the intent and tone you desire.
5. Attachments: Refrain from sending unannounced large attachments ñ especially outside of business hours. Always ask first when would be the best time to send your attachments and let the other party know the format you will be sending in to ensure they have the same software as you do. Send an Excel file that the potential customer didn't ask for, who just so happens to not have Excel, isn't productive -- or impressive.
These are five issues you need to minimally take into consideration with each and every single business e-mail correspondence that you send. By making these miniscule efforts, you will easily outshine those competitors who underestimate the importance of business e-mail etiquette basics.
About the Author:
Judith Kallos is an experienced good-humored Technology Muse who has offered WordPress Consulting and Web Site services for over a decade. Be sure to check out her popular Business Email Etiquette Web Site! too.
Posted on Wed, Jun 09, 2010
by Jeremy Willinger
Everyone wants to be the general but nobody wants to be the soldier. Yet, while leadership is an admirable quality, how many times have we heard the adage that absolute power corrupts absolutely? Despite the countless politicians and other officials who wind up abusing their authority, leadership, when exercised properly, is an invaluable quality that can lead to great personal and professional success.
Key to effective leadership is a combination of honesty and faith—to be truthful in the advice and direction given to charges, with trust in their ability to get the job done correctly. Effective leadership and the proper executive etiquette thereof, is also about knowing when to intervene and when to back off. In many ways, leadership training is like parenting in that you have to allow people to grow independently while also knowing when and how to guide them toward favorable outcomes.
The importance of leadership cannot be overstated. In business, direction and dynamic momentum sustain and grow market value, while stimulating innovation. Personally, it facilitates thoughtful and beneficial decisions that put wind in our sails as we navigate the waters of life.
Even if you are not in a leadership position, there are always opportunities to display management qualities. Proper leadership etiquette dictates that one defer to the judgment of his or her superior; at the same time, initiative defines one as a conscientious worker who is confident enough to vocalize ideas. Regardless of whether your newly proposed project is actualized, your creative initiative can brand you as a future leader, comfortable in your ability to think beyond what is already on the table.
While leadership is an admirable trait, it is useless without supporters and loyal workers. All leaders had to learn from others before them, so listening is as important as directing at all stages of one’s lifetime. Knowing this will make the difference between being a leader who is respected and a leader wannabe, who is easily replaced.
Posted on Thu, Jun 03, 2010
by Lyudmila Bloch, Etiquette Expert New York City
Summer is almost here and company-sponsored events – picnics, ballgames, and golf tournaments – are just around the corner. Since 2006, business-savvy companies have celebrate National Business Etiquette Week, June 7 - 11, 2010 by reminding their employees that they should be on their best behavior when entertaining clients and attending business networking functions. This would of course include their drinking behavior. Drinking is a big part of socializing and having fun. But how do you control your alcohol intake, and how much is too much?
Common sense must always prevail, advise etiquette experts and HR executives -- especially, if you’re trying to establish yourself at your new job. But things could get out of hand in a very short order if you can’t or don’t know how to handle more than one drink.
Female employees in particular should rethink their drinking habits because women, in general, are more vulnerable to the effects of alcohol than their male counterparts. Clinical studies show that women become more intoxicated than men when consuming equivalent amounts of alcohol. Higher estrogen levels, brain chemistry, body fat, enzyme levels in stomach and liver – all are contributing factors in risk assessment for women. Studies also confirm that women show higher blood alcohol levels due to gender-specific differences in the metabolic processes (Source: Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance Systems).
Drinking etiquette at work should also be emphasized because our driving skills are impaired when BAC (Blood Alcohol Concentration) is as low as 0.05%. A healthy male drinker of 140 lbs. or more can reach this level after two drinks. An average female drinker will feel the effects of alcohol after just one beer.
Needless to say, the harmful effects of drinking on job performance are well documented because employees often miss work, arrive late, or are less productive during their work hours when recovering from a hangover.
So if you feel peer-pressured to have a quick one (or two) at a company event this summer, simply say “Thank you but I’m driving today!”