Posted on Mon, Jun 21, 2010
by Jeremy Willinger
It all begins with an introduction but in that moment, everything is at stake. From a networking seminar to a first date, the first five seconds of any meeting define your partner’s opinion of you as well as the balance of power in the interaction. Despite this pressure, handshakes—and, with luck, business cards—are exchanged and a new relationship begins.
As you start a conversation, the initial greeting should be brief, friendly, and incorporate open body language. Crossed arms and a disinterested expression on your face are easy ways to ensure a limited exchange. While speaking clearly and at an appropriate volume will showcase your assertiveness, extensive hand gestures or any unusual mannerisms will detract from your delivery and the other’s impression of your intelligence. Your handshake should be firm but without too much pressure—especially if you are greeting a female or an older person.
In the first several minutes of conversation, topics should reference the reason both of you are in the same place at the same time, as well as more general subjects. Only after you have established a level of comfort (which will probably not be during this initial interaction) should personal subject matter—such as marital status or religion—even be contemplated.
No matter the subject of conversation, it is imperative that each party be a good listener. Focusing on the other person demonstrates respect and enables you to anticipate follow-up questions that advance the conversation. If there is a group discussion, say, at a networking event, wait for an appropriate time to ingratiate yourself—ideally at a low point in the conversation, or when someone excuses him - or herself, leaving an opening for an introduction. As the entire dynamic of the group can be altered if someone intrudes, good timing is good etiquette.
While it is important to know how to initiate a conversation, it is also essential to know when—and how—to end one. Especially at an event where you are meeting for the first time, it is considered boorish to monopolize someone’s time. Once the connection has been made, make plans to follow up, and excuse yourself politely. Key to maintaining the connection is promptly following through after the event to launch this new relationship.
Since conversations are at the heart of all business deals, personal relationships, and career advancement, an introduction should always be weighed carefully. By choosing your words thoughtfully, and remaining focused on the other person, you greatly increase the likelihood of a simple introduction blossoming into a meaningful connection.