Posted on Tue, May 18, 2010
by Jeremy Willinger
Recently, Lyudmila Bloch participated in a series of articles for The New York Times, in which people submitted questions on etiquette and Lyudmila offered her expert opinion. It was interesting to see the responses to several of Lyudmila’s answers and suggestions— as etiquette is a divisive subject, and, this being New York, people are not shy about sharing their opinions.
Read the three installments online:
Part 1:
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/05/answers-about-etiquette-in-new-york/
Part 2:
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/06/answers-about-etiquette-in-new-york-part-2/
Part 3:
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/07/answers-about-etiquette-in-new-york-part-3/
We are going to address one of the main criticisms raised in the comment boxes, and hope that our response will be clarifying and thought-provoking.
In regard to a public conversation, Lyudmila argued that interjecting into a conversation is rude no matter what the circumstances may be. “Dave” commented to the contrary, saying, “Interjecting in public conversations — at least on some topics, like the best way to get somewhere, Manhattan geography, or the relative merits of the Mets and Yankees — is a time-honored New York tradition.” Others supported his notion.
Regardless of whether it is a time-honored New York tradition (full disclosure: the writer is a native New Yorker), as the author asserts, interrupting any conversation is simply not ok. No matter what type of information is being offered, it is still a rude gesture.
If, as many argued, you overheard wrong information being dispensed (such as to get on the downtown train when the person wants to go uptown), then the interruption is indeed a welcome interjection. However, it is still a breach of social etiquette. Doing so should be tempered by the interrupter offering first an apology and then the clarification (i.e., “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help but overhear you discussing the uptown trains, and I think you will need to transfer, as this is the downtown side”).
It’s actually easy to get one’s point across without violating the protocols of proper etiquette. The interrupter must interject in a calm and helpful tone of voice, and make the interruption as brief as possible. Inserting oneself into a conversation is ill-advised, but treating others as you wish to be treated -- e.g., being helpful but not dominating -- is always appropriate.
What do you think? Write your thoughts on this issue in the comment section. And, as always, be respectful and courteous when doing so.