What Makes a True Etiquette Expert?
Posted on Thu, Dec 16, 2010
by Lyudmila Bloch, Etiquette Expert
This question comes up again and again when I talk to my clients, teach business etiquette seminars, do one-on-one coaching, train etiquette consultants, or share my knowledge with journalists. It’s been brewing in my mind for a long time, and I have finally decided to address it, head-on. To become a credible etiquette expert and a respected authority on the seemingly stuffy subject of etiquette, you, the etiquette expert, need to know your audience, their needs and challenges. Your job is to explain, in depth, what situations mean, how they work, and how they will turn out for your clients. The clients, of course, must also have done their homework prior to hiring a consultant. So, let’s examine what sets a true expert apart from your run-of-the-mill, book-learnin’ variety?
Rule # 1: True etiquette experts do due-diligence work. They have researched, in meticulous detail, a specific aspect of etiquette (wedding, social, courtroom, business, medical) before offering advice. They analyze industry trends and common practices, and read every book on these topics. You cannot advise about courtroom etiquette if you don’t understand fundamental judicial process, for example. Or you can’t effectively consult for a medical practice/hospital about workplace/medical etiquette if you’re clueless about how healthcare mechanics affect every healthcare provider today.
Rule # 2: True etiquette experts use new methodologies to deliver their content. They develop educational etiquette curricula, templates, and presentations, and they strategically tailor relevant content to the needs of their clients. They don’t label themselves “America’s leading etiquette expert” when they can barely recycle Mom’s table manners. There is nothing wrong with teaching good, down-home family etiquette, but please make your content fresh and engaging.
Rule # 3: True etiquette experts don’t waste their clients’ time. If they don’t know about a specific subject, let’s say proper greeting protocol in Japan (Sorry, President Obama, but you had the wrong etiquette expert advising you on how to greet the Japanese Emperor and the King of Saudi Arabia), true experts call on those who do know. And that’s what makes them great! One does not become a “royalty expert” unless one has actually served a Royal Family in some part of the world! But if you didn’t, it’s best to check with Letitia Baldrige or another expert of her caliber.
Rule # 4: True etiquette experts are industry leaders and educators, extraordinarily thoughtful people who interpret and set forth commonsense rules on how things are and ought to be. They make meaningful contributions to the subject of etiquette by advancing a new civility movement or a new “cause,” and they are generous in sharing their knowledge with their audience and colleagues. A Canadian expert, Mary Gordon, launched a program called “Roots of Empathy” based on the latest research on child development. This program has already reached over 375,000 students in Canada. Roots of Empathy Website
I’ve been troubled by comments I heard on television from one expert who said she doesn’t give any etiquette advice unless she is paid. Oh, well, most of the greatest minds and leaders have always freely shared their wisdom and knowledge. Among them are some of our best-selling authors and authorities on multiculturalism. They have been called upon by foreign governments, heads of states, and educational institutions to advise on cross-cultural civility and ethical standards. They are simply awesome individuals and splendid writers:
Terri Morrison and Wayne A. Conaway (Kiss,bow, and shake hands), the incomparable Letitia Baldrige/Wikipedia/LetitiaBaldrige, The Emily Post Institute/http://www.emilypost.com/, Suzanne Von Drachenfels/Art of the Table, Mary Mitchell (The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Etiquette; http://www.themitchell.org/), Boyé Lafayette De Mente/http://www.boyedemente.com/, and one of my favorite authors – Margaret Visser/http://www.margaretvisser.com/
Here’s to you, true etiquette expert, who teaches from the heart, writes with passion, and generously shares professional wisdom!
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