Nice Matters
Posted on Tue, Nov 22, 2011
by Mary Mitchell, Etiquette Expert, Author, and Speaker
Beginning this blog on Thanksgiving makes sense for me, since Thanksgiving is my favorite day. I celebrate the opportunity to write about how essential gratitude is to me and, I believe, to anyone’s personal or professional success.
As a child, when my dad would come home tired at the end of his day, I used to rush up to him and tell him how sorry I was that he’d had a tough one. Without fail, his response was, “Nothing to be sorry about. I get to do what I love. I am healthy. I have a healthy family. What could be better?” Now that I am well into my own career, it’s clear that gratitude was his most significant, and most precious, lesson for me.
Not that it’s always easy, given the times we live in. And yet, life is always teaching us something, even when the lessons are hidden deep in terrible events. The past year has been a dark time for me: people I love very much have taken ill; some have died. This Thanksgiving finds our nation heart-sore, embattled, and fearful. For thousands of families, the holiday will be punctuated with sadness.
Losses have taught me that each of us has the ability – and moreover, the obligation – to serve and heal one another in any way we can. It has been a lesson, indeed, an excruciating one:
- In the fragility of life, family, friendship, and freedom.
- In appreciation for the thousand beauties of a "normal" day.
- In the magic of peace.
- In the power of bravery, sacrifice, and spiritual resiliency.
- To remind us that blessings are not entitlements.
I learned that wonderful things don’t always jump out at us. They can be sneaky, buried in unlikely – and sometimes unwanted – places. Yet they are well worth the search. Fulfilled people know this, and I am grateful to have had several of them as examples: my father, my husband, and my mentor.
Wherever this Thanksgiving finds you, here's an assignment: Make a list of 50 things you're thankful for. They can be small or large, silly or serious. The order doesn't matter.
For example, I'm grateful for the good health that allows me to get lots of exercise. I'm grateful my bed is so comfortable. I'm grateful for my happy marriage. I'm grateful somebody else is cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I’m grateful my shoes don’t hurt. I'm grateful I get to work at something I love. I’m grateful to be able to snuggle with ZsaZsa, my French bulldog.
The task may seem huge, but it goes faster than you can imagine. The thoughts will make you smile and fill you with the right holiday spirit. More importantly, the gratitude list always will be there to review on days when gratitude seems challenging at best.
My wise coach, John Felitto, wrote: When you focus on what you have vs. what’s missing, you shift from scarcity to abundance. By simply having gratitude for what you already have, you open yourself up and attract more and more.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
To read more about Mary Mitchell's work and books, please visit:
http://themitchellorganization.com/