Shouting out: is a New Yorker ever wrong?

What is the proper way to chew gum in public? The other day I was on a crowed subway and this woman standing opposite me, and very close, was chewing her gum with her mouth open and just looked so ungraceful. It made me realize how bad people look when really getting into their gum and if they only knew how undignified it looked and how others nearby don’t necessarily want to see it.

— Posted by Chris

I’m so glad that you asked this question! The practice of chewing gum was supposed to relieve facial tension and relax other muscles in our body. However, I’m not aware of any clinical studies that can confirm this assumption.

The inventor of the first chewing gum was a Mexican military man, Antonio López de Santa Anna, who led the attack on San Antonio in the 1830s, when Texas decided to claim its independence from Mexico. However, Santa Anna was defeated by Gen. Sam Houston but was never punished for his war crimes. When the conflict was over and Texas became a state in 1845, Antonio López de Santa Anna brought with him to his new place of residence, Staten Island, New York, his favorite “chew” – a milky sap extracted from a Mexican tree called “sapodilla.” Later, it was processed and flavored to form a chewing substance – known today as the “chewing gum.” It is undignified and disrespectful to chew gum when interacting with other people, attending events or sharing tight, enclosed spaces such as a subway train full of passengers.                                                                        Lyudmila Bloch

What about holding doors for women, or letting them in or off the elevator first? Is it now gauche for men to do these things?

JSH 

It is never out of style to hold an elevator door for a woman or help an elderly person to go through a revolving door. Overall civility governs our society and behavior. As children, we learn the rules of etiquette and, gradually, we internalize them. We don’t think about a specific action – it comes naturally to us. The word citizen derives from Latin – “civis,” or a resident in the big city. The assumption was that civil people live in large urban settings where they could learn from one another and form a civil convention. Our overall knowledge of etiquette requires us to reflect, stop for a moment and behave in a predictable and, therefore, “civilized” manner! Mark Twain wrote: “Etiquette requires us to admire the human race!”

Lyudmila Bloch

Why do NYers have such an awful reputation on etiquette? I’ve always been a helpful NYer, gone out of my way to show people around or make recommendations of restaurants, etc. And, I’ve seen many others do the same. And all I ask in return is – don’t block the subway doors when people are trying to get out, step into the center of the car (there’s no reason to set up at the doors; you really will get out), don’t stand stock still at the top of a flight of stairs during rush hour and if you want to stare up at the tall buildings, please just step to the side.

— Posted by Nyer in MS

You’re unfortunately right… New Yorkers are perceived as “unmannerly people” because we are too relaxed in our basic etiquette. Any specific culture imposes its restraints and cultural demands on society, thereby setting cultural expectations by honoring traditions and cultural rituals.

In many other countries, people experience rush hours, traffic congestion and overcrowded transportation; yet, they manage to deal with it with respect and consideration toward other citizens. Take, for example, the Germans, Japanese or Swiss – the basic civility is instilled in their young, and they are raised to respect and revere their traditions. Every person is drilled to notice early signs of discomfort or displeasure in the body language of others and correct his/her behavior in the context of their native culture.  

Read more about New York Etiquette in the provided links to the New York Times' blog:

 Part 1: