By Lauren Johnston, amNY.com | lJohnston@amny.com
By now it’s infamous — not to mention a ubiquitous YouTube video: The Giuliani cell phone affair.
For three weeks, political pundits have pored over video footage of the GOP’s leading presidential hopeful interrupting a televised speech before the NRA to take a cell phone call and swap sappy chatter with his bride of four years, Judith.
It was bizarre, but it’s not the first time this former tough-guy politician/prosecutor has put an audience on hold to reach for his mobile. A Wall Street Journal column last week quoted a staffer who put the number of times Rudy has taken calls during campaign events at “more than 40.”
Debate about the possible political motives is still raging. Was it a calculated stunt by the thrice-married, 63-year-old former mayor to curry favor with the family values crowd? Was the call staged so Rudy could duck jabs about his gun control stance? Was it a spontaneous gaffe, or just plain bad manners?
A Newsday article last week quoted a Giuliani staffer who said “there would be hell to pay” at home if Rudy ignored Judi’s calls. So perhaps it’s more important to consider what this new tendency to turn his private life public says about Rudy the politician, Rudy the man, and Rudy the hubby.
NewYork consulted etiquette experts, relationship coaches and political consultants to determine which word best fits this kinder, gentler, chattier Rudy: Rude, shrewd or whipped?
Dr. Anne-Renee Testa, Psychologist and Relationship Coach: Whipped
Dr. Testa, author of the book, “The Bully in Your Relationship,” offers this assessment of the Giulianis: “He’s on a leash,” and “She’s a bully.”
Testa called the NRA incident “inappropriate and irresponsible,” and said Rudy needs to establish boundaries. Pronto.
“You’re not available all the time and you’re not a wet nurse to your spouse,” she said. “This is the person that’s being offered up as president and he can’t say to his wife: ‘I’m not going to be available?’”
Far from the marital bliss Rudy may have intended to portray, Testa says the domestic dynamic conveyed by the cell phone call is one of power struggle. “She’s got him by the neck,” she said. “That’s not what a healthy marriage should be and I predict it’s going to backfire.”
Dr. Brenda Shoshanna, Psychologist and Relationship Coach: Shrewd
Shoshanna, relationship expert for iVillage.com, saw the call a bit differently, saying that while likely staged, it succeeded in showing Rudy’s human side. “I believe he answered the call to portray himself as a caring, loving, devoted husband who puts his wife above political matters,” she said in an e-mail.
Rudy is likely anticipating jabs for his various failed marriages, and public infidelities and Shoshanna sees sharing these syrupy chats with Judi, 52, as Rudy’s way to set the record straight. “It’s as if to say, he’s got it right this time,” she said.
Lyudmila Bloch, Etiquette coach: Rude
Bloch, founder of New York City’s Etiquette Outreach program, which offers classes throughout the city, says no question ? Rudy’s behavior was rude, inappropriate and failed in the area of “wireless responsibility,” which mandates discretion.
“This was a conversation between him and his wife and there was no reason for hundreds of people to witness that conversation,” she said.
The rules of etiquette decree the public stage is no place for displays of affection (genuine or staged), and in Bloch’s view the call was less evidence of Rudy’s spousal charms and devotion, and more a sign of disrespect for his audience.
“In the world of etiquette, we all have to follow the rules,” she said. “Unfortunately Mrs. Giuliani’s phone call cannot be the number one priority in this specific case.”
Bloch’s suggestion for the Giulianis? Text messaging.
Hank Sheinkopf, Political Consultant: Shrewd
This long-time political consultant had one thing to say about Rudy’s celluar habits, “Very, very smart.”
Sheinkopf has no doubt the Judi chat was a bit of genius campaign strategy. “This was a staged moment and very smart,” he said. “Rudy the romantic can’t be blamed for being Rudy the anti-gun man.”
According to a post on Tribuune’s politics blog, “The Swamp,” Judi’s call came just as Rudy was about to address the importance of the Second Amendment right to bear arms ? and instead he was saved by the ring.
“It’s hard to attack a guy for being on the wrong side of an issue when his wife is calling and talking about love,” Sheinkopf said. So was it rude to take the call? Sheinkopf says the courtesy factor doesn’t matter much, considering the candidate’s tactical success with smoke and mirrors.
“As they say in the outer boroughs, he done got away with it,” Sheinkopf said.
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